Hi! I’m glad you stopped by to check out what’s going on at The Stroller Ballet this week, link up, or even just browse around to share what you have learned from your children! If you need more information on what exactly this week is all about, click here.

Otherwise, I’m going to tell you a little bit about what Peanut has taught me on the subject of appearances.

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It’s tough to look attractive, put together, and cool as a mommy. Well, it’s possible, of course, But achieving that trifecta becomes decidedly more difficult when you have a little one. I usually leave the house in the morning feeling pretty good about myself. By noon I may have some food crusted to my sweater. By three add some snot. By five? Forget it. You’re probably going to see s**t (lets not even gloss things over by using a cutsey word like “poop”).

Here’s a perfect example. I remember one day, last fall, going to meet my friend T., who was planning on introducing me to her friend D. It was an amazing day. Beautiful! Crisp! With leaves floating romantically through the air! I wore a skirt. Because I was feeling cool, like that. And what’s better than a mommy who can pull off a cute skirt?

We met at a charming (and delicious) little cafe in Boston’s South End, The Buttery. As I was approaching the outdoor patio, a very nice woman tapped me on the shoulder and (very politely) told me that I (*sigh*) had dog poop all over the wheel of my tire. “I didn’t want to ruin your lunch,” she said. Very thoughtful, indeed. Very bad timing on my part (and let’s not forget – the dog’s). I was all like, “hello! I hope you are enjoying your lunch. Don’t mind my wheel.” I spent around, oh, twenty minutes pulling feces out of the treads of my tire. Sweating. Red faced. With God knows what stuck underneath my fingernails. I muttered to myself, “well done. Well done.”

How come I didn’t notice? No idea. I was probably focused on how good (I thought) I looked in my skirt. But let’s not joke around – this was a first date disaster. It was basically the equivalent of walking out of a restroom with toilet paper stuck to your heel. Or spending half an hour in conversation with a giant piece of spinach stuck between your front two teeth. Or generating some huge, smelly fart in a crowded elevator. Or worse (if you can imagine). How’s that for an introduction? “I’m Sarah, and I smell like s**t.”

I’m always amazed, though, how it doesn’t make a difference what one looks like in the world of toddler interactions. I often watch Peanut and her “friends” play. Their exchanges are generally based around stealing a toy, poking each other in the face/mouth. Or something (equally interesting) of the sort. Is someone leaking diarrhea? Perhaps. Does someone have one eye? Two? Three? Perhaps (particularly if you live in Gabba land). You know what, though? It doesn’t matter. They interact with a goal in mind.

Less appearance based. More purpose driven.

And really, it shouldn’t matter. At least not always. Even for grown ups. Of course, if you’re headed to a major job interview, you should probably double check your cheeks for any crusty mucous (that’s just Common Sense, 101). But as a mom? You may aspire to be perfectly coiffed, made-up, fit and toned. Then the infant comes. Along with a massive reality check. There are going to be days when you may find yourself covered in spit-up (and that’s really a polite way of saying “vomit”), carrying 10 extra pounds, and unable to shower. You may have poop, toilet paper, or any other number of things stuck to your person.

You’ll run into someone you know. It’s inevitable. And it’s manageable. Because you are about more than all that…physical stuff. We all are.

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